The Big Fight

Yesterday, my sister and I got into a big fight about the biggest thing we disagree upon: her boyfriend.

Now, you have to understand that me and my sister have shared a room since we were little. We're really close. We talk about almost everything. All of this started to slow down 2 years ago when she started dated this ugly guy who was kind of a jerk. They're still dating now.

I have never understood what she saw in him, and maybe I never will. I always looked up to my sister, and thought her to be a strong, independent woman, who didn't want or need a man to "complete" her. And yet, she fell prey to this guy's flattering comments and attention. Also, he is always showing up at my house unannounced and calling at least once a day. This infuriated me, as I felt he was taking my sister away from, and as if he was invading my personal space. Because of this, I began to hate him. Passionately. I would glare at him, make snide comments about him to my sister and parents, and beg my parents to not let my sister date him. None of this made my sister break up with him, and it only made our bond crack and crumble under the pressure of my hate, and Becca trying to ignore the problem, or taking his side and being mean to me. I used to dream up scenarios of them breaking up, or him hurting my sister in some way that would make her realize he was not the guy for her. It was terrible, mean, and hateful. But I just wouldn't come around. At one point I started to hide his shoes. He seemed to not notice, or at least he or Becca never said anything about it. One day, I was leaving for school and Becca was going to walk with me for the first time in quite a while. All of a sudden, who should show up, but my nemesis. He was driving her to school. She was tstill getting ready so I got my stuff on and angrily walked out the door. As I put on my shoes, I saw his ugly shoes and the hate bubbled over. I grabbed them and threw them in the trashcan outside the door, then proceeded to walk to school. On my walk I realized this was childish and stupid, but I didn't care. In my mind, he was stealing my sister, so I put his shoes where I thought they (and him) belonged. My sister later found me in a hallway at school, her hand in his, and bitched me out, calling me immature and a brat. He finally dragged her away, still yelling, and my face burning with shame and embarrassment.

So yesterday, we finally had it all out. She yelled at me with my mom standing there, telling me to respond, but not defending me. I was silently sobbing, and had decided it was best not to say anything or even look at her. Before this blew up, she had called me fat and hit me across the face. I couldn't believe my mother was doing nothing. Finally my mum stepped up and told my sister something (I thought) I had told her in confidence. She told my sister that I thought it wasn't just her boyfriend that I hated, it was all outsiders who arrived unannounced at our house because I was unsure of how to respond to them. I finally broke down and told her that I already felt insecure and unsure of how to act around normal people at school, and home was my escape. By invading our house, her boyfriend was making me feel as if I couldn't be myself or relax. I had to put on an act of someone I wasn't, just to benefit this intruder.

We got out pretty much everything we needed to, and I apologized and promised to be nicer to her boyfriend. Then we hugged and she accidentally grabbed my boob, which made us both laugh. :)

I'm really glad this happened, and hopefully it makes our bond stronger.